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love-tingling Eclipse

January 9, 2010

E!OneLine TedC. Taylor Lautnerspent the last year all pumped and primped within an inch of his girlie gym-body tummy, but to what end? We went on a mission to discover if all that sweat will finally pay off in his next Twilight appearance alongside the gal he so doesn’t deserve, Kristen Stewart.

We demanded to know just how love-tingling Eclipse, due this summer, may or may not be (we actually may be seeing it shortly).

Super plugged-in source Deep Twi responded:

“It’s more about the fight scenes. They’re awesome; it’s what it’s all about.”

Like idiots, Taryn and I inquired about this grave matter with great hope, since Breaking Dawn, we’re still assured, will be “very” sexy and “much more” emotionally romantic between stars Robert Pattinson and Stewart.

As to whether or not Lautner provides K.Stew with some more ab-perfect battling for her R.Pattz allegiance in Eclipse, we were told:

“No, it’s even more action than New Moon, that’s where the tension is between them all.”

Damn those Mormons. They’re always causing such problems. Stephenie Meyer, who’s still watching the fantastically successful baby she created like a sexually repressed hawk, is constantly swooping in and asserting her wait-until-marriage sex thing. This has got to stop.

“She’s still a creative consultant,” another Twi insider relayed to us. “Everything goes by her.”

Translation: No bumping uglies—or anything remotely close—transpires until Edward and Bella are properly united in Breaking Dawn. So not fair. Not to mention preposterously ridiculous. Could you imagine if Miley Cyrus had been cast as Bella instead of Kristen? Exactly.

Still, guess the good news is that B.D., in all it’s church-sanctioned matrimonial nooky, will be a celluloid treat for all of us who just can’t wait for Rob and Kris—I mean Edward and Bella—to finally get it on.

I mean, how much horny longing and moping can fans of romantic movies take?

It’s torture, nothing less!


3 Comments leave one →
  1. GOROB permalink
    January 9, 2010 6:39 am

    Am I the only person who thinks there is something fishy about David Slade and Eclipse? From the beginning he bad mouthed “Twilight” and then Rachelle got fired and knowing Chris W I know this would have never happened had he been the director! There has been one picture of Edward and Bella released and oh yeah a picture of the new guy who is only in the book for a second suddenly is to be one of the main characters along with Bryce Howard who this director is letting take over the movie from what I hear! From the first I had a bad feeling about DS and from what Ted is saying it all seems to be true! I think David Slade had Rachelle fired and Summit is starting to get on my nerves! I saw New Moon but I would have saw it more times if there were more of Robert Pattinson in it! So Summit can go chasing after the males out there but they are losing the real fans of Twilight!

  2. Robsten permalink
    January 9, 2010 11:06 am

    If Steph was there, i don’t think that it would be to much to worry abt!! i mean, she wouldn’t let the romantic part of the book be destroyed…. Have u seen the NEW pic of Robsten HOLDING HANDS?????????!!!!!!!! that’s zoomed

  3. Aylin permalink
    January 9, 2010 4:02 pm

    Stephenie was there…Kristen said in an interview that Steph was there the most of all three movies.

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